Or, “In Which I Cheerfully Horrify A YSL Sales Associate.”
So, er, the other day the very nice carpet cleaning people were here, doing their thing, and, er, the crap that came out of my carpet was so … extensive … that the machine actually broke in the middle of doing it. The very nice man from the very nice carpet cleaning company said to me, very nicely, that he was going to have to go back to Very Nice Carpet Cleaning HQ and get a new machine, and this should only take about 3 hours. I could not stand to be in a half-cleaned apartment with all the furniture shoved against the walls and with the cats whining to be let out of the utility room, so I took the opportunity to go shopping. Really, it was too embarrassing to hang around waiting to see if the replacement machine would also throw up its hands in despair and shut itself down.
What to do with three hours? Why, hie myself over to Nordstrom’s to drool over spring collections, natch. YSL is putting out four new shades of Glossy Stains (or “Rouge Pur Couture Vernis À Lèvres,” as YSL calls them), which I adore, so I had high hopes of drowning my shame in lipstick. To my astonishment, Nordie’s actually had these products on display and available! (Trying to find new collection items on counter at my Nordie’s is a little like playing the lottery, except with demonstrably poorer results.)
There are four new colors for the spring: #27 Peche Cerra-Cola, #28 Grenat Acrylique, #29 Rose Fourreau, and #30 Mauve Fusain. The swatches on Nordstrom’s website bear little if any resemblance to the actual products: #27 Peche Cerra-Cola is actually a very pale peach, #28 Grenat Acrylique is an orange-leaning red, and #30 Mauve Fusain is a bright violet slightly more blue than heliotrope.
#29 Rose Fourreau is a warm orange-pink; on the website it looks like a browned rose but it absolutely is not. Like most YSL Glossy Stains, the color takes a minute or two on your lips to deepen into its eventual shade. This goes on quite light, but after a few minutes it’s become the color of blood oranges. I love, love, love it.
YSL Glossy Stains have a reasonably good wearlength — 3-4 hours for me on average, which is good considering I talk all day for a living. They fade evenly and do not bleed into lip lines. The applicator is a slanted paddle, with one pointy end for use in defining the bow of the lip and the corners of the mouth. It works very well. However, YSL Glossy Stains do have one feature that I’m not a huge fan of, and I can only assume that this is something that they absolutely could not overcome in the manufacturing process — and this is where I cheerfully horrified the YSL sales associate.
As she was rummaging below the counter to find one of these for me to buy (because the relationship between the product being on counter and the staff actually having products to sell you is tenuous at best), she started making conversation with me about them. Given that she was completely underneath the counter, it must have looked like I was having a conversation with empty air.
“Don’t you just love the Glossy Stains?” she said.
“I do,” I said. “There’s just one thing about them I don’t like.”
“What’s that?” she asked, as she continued to dig through piles of everything except what I wanted.
“They smell like beer,” I said.
At this point there was a THUNK sound and the SA’s head popped up from behind the counter, her eyes wide with alarm.
“They what?” she said.
“They smell like beer. Haven’t you ever noticed?”
She immediately grabbed one, opened it, and held the applicator under her nose — at which point an expression of such horror crossed her face that you could have used a photo of it for an internet meme.
“Oh my God,” she said.
I considered asking her whether she had ever actually used these products, because we are not talking about a ghostly soupçon of fragrance here. It smells like beer. Strongly. It has sillage. After it’s been on your lips for a minute or so, the smell goes away, but there is no missing it when you put it on. But I decided not to poke her further, because who am I to snark at a sales associate when I myself was running from the humiliation of having caused the death of at least one carpet cleaning machine?
There seems to be quite a lot of confusion about which items in YSL’s Spring 2013 collection are permanent and which are limited edition — I’ve seen one blog post definitively stating that X was permanent and Y limited edition, and then another saying the opposite. Some blog posts don’t even have all of the items in the right category. So if you want this shade, I’d suggest ordering sooner rather than later. As of this writing, Sephora has #29 Rose Fourreau and #27 Peche Cerra-Cola available online, with no mention of the other two shades; Nordstrom’s has all four, as does Saks.
Lip with YSL Glossy Stain in #29 Rose Fourreau:
Random bit of trivia: YSL is in the process of removing the “Yves” from its name and rebranding itself as simply “Saint-Laurent.” Do I think this is a mistake? Yes. Did they ask me? No. Can’t imagine why.
Price/Value Ratio (high-end: poor/fair/good/excellent): Fair. They’re lovely, but $32 is $32, after all.
Purchase again? Yes.
(Have you used this product? Love it? Hate it? Want it? Give a holler in the comments!)