Friday Snark is a new feature that may be regular, irregular, or completely unpredictable. It may show up on days other than Friday. It will, however, be snarky.
Who (or what) is Snark Bait in this installment?
Quoth Bobbi’s website: “Inspired by lush peonies & the playful, feminine chic of cult label Tibi, Bobbi introduces the NEW, Limited Edition Peony & Python Palette. Soft pink lilacs play off cool grays to create a distinctive eye that’s equal parts lovely & edgy…. Comes in a gorgeous Peony & Python case, designed by Tibi exclusively for Bobbi Brown.”
Here is the palette:
Question: Has Bobbi Brown ever actually seen a peony? Because they don’t come in any of them there colors. Oh, wait, she mentioned lilacs. Yeah … not the same. Also, those purple shades are hardly “pink-toned.” They look pretty blue from here.
And as for the case, Bobbi says gorgeous, I say ZOMG fugly.
I do not know why cosmetics companies have to come up with such horrible-looking bags, cases, and palette coverings. Someday I think I will do a blog post with all of the horrendous bags I’ve acquired.
This palette will run you $50, but for $95 Bobbi is also offering a Neiman Marcus exclusive set in which it seems more likely that she has, in fact, seen a peony. Here is that:
Hey! That compact in the upper right is a color found in a peony! Is that a blush? No? Oh. I see. It’s called Pink Peony Illuminating Bronzer. Um… maybe I’m being a silly academic, what with insisting that words actually mean things, but a “bronzer” is supposed to give you a color that is, well, bronze. Bronze is a real color. It is not pink. There is no such thing as a “pink bronzer.” But how about that lip gloss? Oh, that’s called Pink Lilac. In Bobbi’s defense, there is also a peony-colored lip gloss available separately that’s called Pale Peony. It is significantly darker than Pink Lilac. But there is also a lipstick dubbed Lilac which is not the color of any lilac I’ve ever seen. Swatches aren’t out yet, but in the tube it looks… well, dark brownish pink. In fact, it’s much closer in color to a … oh, never mind.
Speaking of fugly bags, I would be remiss if I did not share with you this gem from the MAC Wonder Woman collection, which I skipped entirely for various reasons that I’ll rant about separately if you like. Dear readers, I do not quite know how to prepare you for the shock, other than to entreat you to sit down. Behold — the MAC Wonder Woman utility belt:
Is MAC serious? Oh, yes, indeed they are. Sayeth their website: “To meet the demands of the Wonder Woman life, a Utility Belt Brush Set! Wear as an accessory.”
The demands of the Wonder Woman life apparently require … a gold fanny pack.
When I was five, the demands of the Wonder Woman life pretty much only required a set of Wonder Woman Underoos. Because I was an overachiever, I also made a tiara out of cardboard. It never occurred to me that I needed a gold fanny pack. You have to wonder if MAC actually telling people to wear these as an accessory is some sort of giant prank.
(And no, there is no invisible plane. Sorry.)